"The new album, it�s like� leave me alone."
Michael Stipe, on the new REM album "Keyboards and Guitars - It�s The Future!" (Warner Bros.), every paper in the world, ever.
By pure coincidence, , the first four �Coincidence� columns were all about coincidences, so we decided to redress the balance with these amazing but true facts, all linked by the spooky fact that they have nothing in common whatsoever.
- 85% of people are useless bastards.
- When prodded, ducks will not attack you. but if you prod them with your fingers rather than your evil psychic powers, they will attach themselves to your face and never ever let go.
- Noooooooo!
- Moles and stoats are not affected by half a pound of tuppeny rice. But if you add half a pound of treacle, I should think anything should pop.
- Only Roger Cook exists. We are all figments of his imagination.
- Gordon Brown and Foxy Brown are the same person.
- Contrary to popular belief, Elvis was not abducted by aliens, they missed and took John F. Kennedy. And Elvis was shot in Dallas.
- F# A# ad infinitum does not a good song make.
- This year�s Million Man March has only 999, 999 participants.